I feel so relaxed today than ever since the start of September! Last night, I had many dreams. In fact, consecutive dreams, some good and some bad. Shan't write about the bad ones, but instead I'll write about the good ones. Actually, I can't really remember the good ones except for one particular one which is so uncanningly similar to another dream which I had before. Deja vu.. So here goes (it's a bit lame la)

This confrontation took place in a classroom. The teacher was going through some answers for the test questions. Everybody ,okay, maybe me, in particular was trying to make out the illegible words on the white board. Then the teacher started cleaning the board, and I haven't taken down everything. Already feeling frustrated due to the messy handwriting, I started shouting at the teacher.

The teacher pointed her finger to me, motioning me to get up from where I was sitting to go over. Suddenly feeling scared, I stood up, legs wobbling a little, and mustered everything that was inside me and took brave strides towards where the teacher was standing.

Teacher: You are very rude, do you know that?
Suddenly fearing that she would send me to the principal's office and get my name striked off the namelist, I just kept quiet while she went on and on about my behaviour. It reached a point where I just lost all restraints that I imposed on myself and rebutted.

Me: Yes, I admit that I was very rude towards you just now. I accept that and I won't create any excuses for myself.
(Tears was welling up in my eyes at that time) And I went on, forcing myself to say what I really wanted to say without ending up blabbering to myself.
Me: But don't you think that your action of rubbing the board even before asking the class's permission first is equally rude?
Me: I accept the consequences that come for shouting at you. I'll accept the blame, but only partially. Because the other half goes to you. It goes to your messy handwriting and your utmost disrespect for us. So before you accuse me of being rude, check yourself and ask if you are being rude in the first place.

Then the teacher said something which I forgot. But I retaliated. At this time, there were many students and a couple of teachers standing by the window shutters trying to get a peek of what was happening. A male teacher goes into the classroom and tries to control the situation.

Me: (pointing towards the male teacher who is walking in, giving me the 'troublemaker' kind of look). It was that moment that it suddenly dawned onto me that the world is really unfair. It was me against everyone while my classmates just looked on tensely and helplessly. Okay, this part will be a bit drama, just bear with it.. to my readers out there..

Upon seeing his face that read 'troublemaker', a new sort of feeling overwhelmed me. It was something that I have never felt before. It was empowering, it gave me the much needed new found courage to fight for myself. My index finger, which was initially shaking from a mixture of rage and fear stopped and miraculously, my finger continued pointing at him, steadily. All of my fear that kept me back previously was gone and was replaced by courage and a renewed sense of justice. Justice to myself, justice to my classmates and justice for children who are about to start school.

Me: Before you say anything, answer me first and I'll do whatever that is asked from me. Do you ask your students if they are done copying whatever that is on the whiteboard before cleaning the board?

Male teacher:(Stutters) Y.. Yes.. Wh.. why do y..you a-ask me such a ques..question? He was clearly stunned that a student had asked him the most basic question which he assumed was understood universally.

Me: Do you think that it is rude for a teacher to clean the whiteboard even before asking her students if they still needed it?

The male teacher was unsure as to whether to reply or not, because deep down, even if he knew that it was morally wrong, it wouldn't be nice to embarass his fellow colleague.

As I walked back towards my seat, I felt vindicated that I almost wanted to jump up and punch into the air with my fist. I felt like I had done justice to myself and tried to suppress the smile of victory on my face. Although it was rather inappropriate for my classmates to smile and yell and do any crazy stuff, I could tell from their eyes that they are with me.

As I took my seat, that someone's face (I shan't disclose the name) strangely appeared before me. What would he think of me after my sudden outburst? Should I be ashamed of myself?

I don't know.

(Snaps out of dream). But I felt happy after I woke up. Readers, give me some feedback about my dream please. Talking and arguing has always been in my blood. A day won't pass without me rebutting someone or giving a radically opposite and different view about things. I'm a weird person. I support Joakim, I support Japan's foreign minister, Taro Aso, for the Prime Minister Position and lately I support Jonathan to be crowned the second Singapore Idol. (I still hope against hope that Japan's crown princess will give birth to a son). I believe in the quite impossible. (But nothing is impossible really). Or maybe it's because my life is too mundane. Nothing extraordinary happens everyday which I am silently thankful for. I drink the same Green Tea packet everyday in school, unless circumstances does not permit me to do so. I eat and support almost the same food everyday (fishball noodles). I am reluctant to try new stuff unless strongly convinced.

I've long suspected that I have a rebellious streak in me. Although it didn't show during my peaceful teenage years and secondary school days.. Shocking huh? A rebellion... a criminal lawyer... an opposition figure.. HAha!! Future career prospects... I remember harbouring hopes when I was young that one day that I'll be a very successful criminal lawyer. Vindicate the innocent, give the guilty their best defence (although some may think otherwise) and people will start throwing rotten eggs at me as I walk out of the court room. With cameras flashing into my face and newspapers screaming the headlines like :' Lawyer frees a murderer!' I'll be more successful than the presently well known Subbas Anandan (correct spelling? I'm not too sure). But my gp tutor told me before that such a case won't happen in Singapore and that I've been reading too much of Perri O' Shaugnessy books and watching too much of tv... Haha.. This reminds me of 'Prisonbreak' tonight on Channel 5! 10pm... Be sure to catch it!

Back to the topic. Maybe I'll live overseas for a while and work as an attorney there. Get a taste of living outside Singapore. (which can be quite scary.. coz S'pore is a really nice and safe place to live in).

The dream that I narrated above is not about any particular teacher or their profession. Teachers are a noble breed. They invest in the young, try their best to get to know every student, spend more time with their students than with their own kids. It was shocking when I read on the newspapers that teachers have to go through 100 hours of 'upgrading' courses or something like that. On top of that, they have to prepare lessons for the next day, mark assignments, worry about grades, about their students. Cope with difficult students especially when the students are in their puberty stage, and cope with principals.. Haha.. Really, they are not being appreciated enough from us.

Gee this is such a long post! Looking forward to going out with Clara and co to celebrate my belated birthday. And surprise surprise, she told me she wants to swim on sat at the swimming complex..haha... I'm feeling better even though I didn't take my medicine last night. Apparently, a mix of Macs and KFC's whipped potato does wonders to my body.. Oops, I forgot to brush my teeth again last night. This is bad because all the sugar from the carbonated Pepsi drink will undergo hydrolysis from the bacteria in my mouth to produce amino acids. Which will then react with the Calcium with my teeth to undergo neutralisation to form salt and water.. No wonder I need not drink a lot of water coz my mouth is producing water already!! Joking la.. haha.. Then the decay process starts... See I've learnt well in BioChem!! Haha.. And my friend is working as a volunteer for the imf meetings(which just ended). So lucky right??

OUT!