Dreams

My weird dreams are back. It seems like the more I have these kind of dreams, the more tired I become. I've been sleeping really early these few days. This is not suppose to be the case right? I usually sleep at 12 last time when I was studying but now I'm sleeping like before 10pm. Aargh..

Anyway, here's what I dreamt 2 nights ago. I can remember the dream very clearly as it gripped me and 4 letters kept flashing in my mind. Not the f letter bad word.. but it is DSTA. Defence Science Technology Asia or something like that. I dreamt about bombs raining down on us.. As I saw other neighbouring blocks being hit by these bombs, I wondered if by block will be lucky enough. But I knew that I couldn't depend on luck alone for my survival. So I decided to escape. While escaping from someplace, I realised that I lacked survival instincts. If someone were to point a gun at me, I wouldn't know what to do. I would probably just die right away. I cannot outlive my enemy.

I decided to seek help, to appeal to the kindness of the human soul, regardless of differences in skin colour to hide me. Somehow, I led myself straight to the perpetrator's camp. Hotel actually. The lieutenent had a kind face. I started begging him to let me go. Torn by carrying out his duty and pricked by his conscience, he lowered the gun that he was pointing at me initially. From then on, his hotel was the place that I could hide. At night, his comrades will drink into the night while I hid in the small enclosed space below the bed. In the day, I was free to roam around the hotel but with the curtains drawn. I needed lots of self discipline and a high level of tolerance to lie for hours under the bed. I was grateful to him for risking his life to save me. But I knew this couldn't go on forever...
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Maybe I got this dream from a show that I've watched a long time ago. It's 'The Pianist'. Here is where DSTA comes into the story. I thought about how complacent I was. Taking security for granted. I was silently cursing myself for not being able to do more and contribute to my country. If I could (in my dream) at that time, I would definitely want to join DSTA to make Singapore safe. I realised theat despite all the grouses that we have about singapore, and the greener pasture that never fails to lure us to the other side, Singapore is really where I want to be deep down.

I must use the holidays to find out what I really want to do in the future..

OUT!